Short Stories - Reconstruction
The girl sat in the waiting room, lost deep in her thoughts... oblivious to the comings and goings of those around her.
Here she was again.
She didn't know how it had happened, how it was possible - after the last time, she had locked herself up, away from everyone, away from life. Away from any potential to arrive here, in this place, once more. Yet here she was - for somehow he, the new one, had found a way into her high-tower.
He had clambered down from his mighty steed, approached the proverbial tower, and climbed up her hair, and now she was lost once more.
-----
Her mind wandered back to the last time... to how she had sobbed on that table, in that frightfully cold room, for an eternity. To the visitors that came and went, slowly threading her back together with their stinging needles. Her friends, her family... each using the tarnished instruments to cut themselves, each giving a little part of themselves to literally put the lost girl back together again. They had put themselves through great pain for the dying girl, and through their mercy...
She had lived.
Though every inch of her body had screamed for the pain to end - the anguish was constant.
It had taken a long time for her to ever come close to being able to leave the room; she had been afraid to venture out of the familiar constraints, not wanting to leave the place that had once held so much hope, behind her. She would never understand it - how the place that had been her downfall, had also become her home. The place she was used to, and afraid to leave. The pain... it was all consuming, and endless, but it was familiar. It was a pain she knew well, and she had been terrified to venture out of her safe haven of tears and blood, to a place where a new pain would find her... One that hurt even more than the last.
She had made it eventually, propped against the waist of her dearest friend. They had walked out together, and though she had stumbled many times, eventually she managed to be free of the lonely void...
Though she was not free of the scars.
The scars she would never lose. The barely visible, translucent threads that held her together - they made her seem almost whole... to the rest of the world. Yet they did not know of the tiny fragments missing from within her... They could only see her supple flesh. The slender weaves of cotton did not seem to them to be significant - the world did not know that was all that held the girl together - something so fragile and worn. She wore her silk scarf to hide some of the cuts and bruises, a constant reminder, forever more, of what she had lost, and what she had found.
------
And now she was back.
In THIS place...
In love.
"What are you in for?" a hesistant voice questioned from the chair beside the young woman. A doe-eyed gentleman starred up at the woman expectantly, visably nervous and anxious for reassurance.
"Loving salvation," she breathed, barely able to let the beautiful words escape her lips. "You?"
"F-first love," the boy stuttered, though he recovered well with his transcendantly warm grin.
The woman could see something within him, as she looked deep into his expectant eyes... She could see Hope. That attribute of mankind she had once embraced with most longing than she had had, even for 'the first.' She had lost that, that Hope... but looking into his eyes, so innocent and bright... the woman sighed inside, the small shred of Hope left within her crying to be recognised.
She ignored its wails.
"Looks like your up," Doe-Eyes said, nodding behind the girl, constantly fidgeting with his tie. The girl turned to look behind her, following the young man's gaze. Then her eyes fell upon him... the new man. The one with the kind eyes and the tussled hair. She stood slowly, and walked towards him. As she reached the door, she looked back briefly. "Goodluck," she called to Doe-eyes sincerely, before following Kind Eyes into the room.
She looked around anxiously as they entered, and the door swung shut behind her.
------
"It's different this time," she muttered in awe.
Kind eyes looked back at her with a conspiring smile. "You thought it would be otherwise?" he asked, looking mildly amused. He walked forward to a chair propped against a far wall, taking his place at one side of a small chestnut table. The girl lingered by the door. The room was no longer clinical, full of sharp, bitter instruments. It was lit in a dim, warm light, with a small table and two chairs only. She saw something glisten on the table, but from her place in the dark she could not quite make out its form.
"Why don't you come out of the dark?" Kind Eyes asked gently, trailing his fingers along the shining object.
She shuddered involentarily, memories forcing their way into her mind.
"Because I am afraid," she whispered.
"Of what?" the man asked, eyes sincere.
"Of everything. Of you. Of love... Of myself..." she gasped.
"Yourself? Why are you afraid of yourself? Yourself is beautiful..."
The girl trembled form her place in the shadows, ashamed, feeling exposed to this man. "Because I am not enough."
"You are more than enough..." the man smiled.
"No. I am broken. I am in pieces. I am not enough. I was not enough for him, and he left me. She came along, and had more to give him, more for him to take. I gave him my heart, and that was not enough. I hate myself for not being enough..."
The man shook his head with a small, knowing smile on his face. "You blame yourself," he stated. It was not a question, barely an observation. "You lost love, and now you feel you don't deserve it. But that's why I'm here... to show you that you do."
The girl shook gently, feeling overwhelmed by the pulses of emotion running through her veins.
All she had ever wanted was to be enough.
"I want to leave."
"And you will," he said calmly. "I am not forever. I aren't 'the One.' I am here to give you faith in love again. To help mend your wounds, and bring you into the light. Through my love, I'll remind you how to love yourself... that is the most important kind of love you can ever have. You cannot expect to be loved, until you love yourself..."
The girl let his words sink in, and felt calm start to trickle into her bloodstream. She took a step forward, moving inch by inch, step by step. The man did not rush her - he sat silently, merely smiling with encouragement. He waited a long, long time, until eventually, she was close enough for him to reach out and take her hand. He guided her gently so she was sat opposite him at the table, and they watched each other for a long while.
"I love you," he said gently.
"How could anyone love me?" she asked, a single, cold tear falling down her face.
"Look at yourself..." he said, and he motioned to the object on the table. The girl looked, and realised that the object she had seen glistening in the light had been a small vanity mirror. She looked away sharply, feeling dizzy at the idea of having to look at herself. She had not looked at herself since she had first seen the scars...
"I cannot."
"Yes, you can." His gentle voice was like a liquid syrup, soothing the pain inside of her. "You are beautiful. Your soul is unique. You first love was your first love. It does not have to mean less because you no longer have it. You can cherish it for what it was, always, and look past the pain. But you cannot let it become you - you cannot let the pain you have felt become what you are. You cannot punish yourself forever, for the mistakes he made. You must love... It's what we do."
The girl heard his words, as he carried on for an eternity. Each word made the pain feel a little less sharp - a little less real. It was still there, but it become duller, a managable monotone shriek in the back of her mind.
She smiled for the first time in an age.
"I love you," she breathed.
"I love you too," he grinned. "So look..."
Kind Eyes gently picked up the mirror and held it up for the girl to look at herself. Her eyes slowly drifted to her lucid reflection, and she gasped at the sight of it. The scars... they had faded. So much so that she could barely see them anymore. She knew they would always be there, but with Kind Eyes... she knew that she could handle them. She was beautiful.
She was enough.
"Thankyou," she said softly, meeting his eyes with a smile.
"No... thankyou," he said gently.
They sat there for an ageless time, until the man slowly stood. "I have to leave now," he said, his eyes sad.
"I know," she whispered, feeling a great sense of melancholy clarity. "I wish you didn't have to," she sighed.
"So do I... but our love has served it's purpose," he said with a small smile. "You believe in love again..."
She stood and hugged him tightly. "It hurts," she said quietly.
"Yes," he replied. "But this time, you know that it's going to be okay..." he gently kissed her forehead, and then ever so slowly, his material form began to fade away, until the girl was again on her own.
Only this time... she was not afraid.
Love always Hopes.
She knew that now.
Without a word, she walked towards the door of the room, not once looking back.
------
She walked into the reception. The Doe-Eyed boys chair was vacant.
She walked to the main desk, and a kindly old woman smiled up at her.
"Are we expecting you again anytime soon, dear? I can pencil you in?..."
The girl paused, only for a moment... and then - "Yes. Yes, I'll be back..."
